I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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