So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
