Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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