let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
