he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
