Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize