My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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