Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
