And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
