Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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