Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
