end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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