Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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