In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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