The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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