Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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