you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
