wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
