no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
