Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
