I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
