Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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