Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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