I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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