JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
