you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
