what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
