There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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