WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
