I want to stick my p in your. b.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
