Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
