My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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