I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
