Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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