Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
