The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
