my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
