A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize