i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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