Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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