Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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