I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
