Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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