I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
