she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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