It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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