just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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