3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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