Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i think im in europe. pls send help
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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