I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's shark week go big or go home
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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