Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
