She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
