We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
