Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
