OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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