Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
