Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
