As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
