Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
