all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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