I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
