I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
jump out the window naked night went bad
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize