She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
